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A Dorm Room at Voorhees Hall, Columbia University, New York, Sunday
Xanthippe was officially Stressed Out.
It was all over an essay, which wasn't even due until next Friday, but it was important and she had to get it perfect, because what if she didn't? What if she didn't, and she flunked out of the class, and she flunked right out of college, and her father would disown her and her mother would disown her and then she would have to move in with Kimmy and deal with that whole freak show and she would lose all status and purpose in life and probably, like, end up becoming BFFs with Kimmy's extra-weirdo landlady and getting matching tattoos in a crack den and --
Anyway, yeah, she was currently doing what any self-respecting college student would do in her situation: screaming into a pillow.
Thank Christ her roommates weren't home right now.
[ooc: NFB but open for texts/calls/surprise visits!]
It was all over an essay, which wasn't even due until next Friday, but it was important and she had to get it perfect, because what if she didn't? What if she didn't, and she flunked out of the class, and she flunked right out of college, and her father would disown her and her mother would disown her and then she would have to move in with Kimmy and deal with that whole freak show and she would lose all status and purpose in life and probably, like, end up becoming BFFs with Kimmy's extra-weirdo landlady and getting matching tattoos in a crack den and --
Anyway, yeah, she was currently doing what any self-respecting college student would do in her situation: screaming into a pillow.
Thank Christ her roommates weren't home right now.
[ooc: NFB but open for texts/calls/surprise visits!]
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Or, you know. Not everyone, but regardless of gender, anyway.
Her head stayed tilted a little. "So what happens if someone does what they're not supposed to?"
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He leaned against her. Stroked her hair. "If they were raised within a kumpania and were discovered, likely they would be made outcast, punished by exile from all the kumpai," he said quietly. "If they were not raised within a kumpania for one reason or another, they would still need to keep it quiet, most likely. For no kumpania would trade or do business with them, marked vrajna as they'd be, nor would they ever allowed to join one, even if they were blood kin."
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She remembered several things from last time, in fact.
Her eyebrows were knitting together a little, again. Like she was putting things together and then wondering if the things were even there, and if they were, was it really even her place? So she wasn't asking.
But maybe there was a question on her face all the same.
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He let out a breath of a laugh. "I should perhaps say the answer to both questions in your eyes."
The dromonde was strong in him, too. And came when he called - and sometimes when he did not - thanks to his mother's teachings.
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Well, she'd already put it together herself, but there was still something in her that was surprised that he'd actually confirm it. To her.
But there was also something in her that reminded her that she was completely outside his world, so it wasn't as if her knowing would pose much of a threat to him.
His hand was still between hers. She went to lace her fingers with his. "How does that... feel, I guess? Looking through time."
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She wouldn't dream of claiming she got it, but at least she had some faint guess? Tiniest idea? Something. Whatever.
Almost-shy on Hyacinthe put a weird flutter inside her chest. "I can't believe no one's asked." Well, she could - since it was such a secret, that kinda limited who even could. "That's so cool. But, like, also kind of terrifying?"
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But especially when it came to feeling any kind of a heritage that wasn't just a burden.
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She trailed off, glancing away, then shrugged.
"Doesn't really mean anything. It's just stuff that used to belong to someone with the same last name as me."
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"Think that's it," she said. "Living versus dead things." The building they were in was kind of a monument to her family's history, and you could've argued it was a living thing because of all the students literally living in it, but... Nah. "I like that you have that."
Then her nose wrinkled up as a bout of self-consciousness hit. "Does that, I mean, is that okay to say? Maybe that's not really for me to say."
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No, she was just overthinking it.
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Then she snorted at how lame that sounded.
Her ensuing smile was crooked, too. "I'm really bad at this."
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"Being normal." There, that was a thing that was a scale and a measuring stick all on its own. Her right hand left his to creep up to her left shoulder. A self-conscious gesture she didn't fully realize she was doing. "Having... friends."
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He shook his head, uncertain if she'd really want to hear the entirety of his opinion. "'Tis hard to make them when you're unhappy, if naught else."
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When he didn't, she flopped against the back of the couch with a huff. "Well I know that."
See: her attempts at making friends, elementary school through to present day.
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Sexual, most likely, but also drastic.
"When you look for friends, what is it you look for?" he asked, curious.
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She gave his question a squirmy sort of shrug. Like she was uncomfortable with having to say, "I don't know." Which she did say, anyway. "I mean, it used to just be cool people? Like, regardless of if they were like, nice or whatever."
A beat.
"Or if I even liked them. Or if they even liked me." Though that last one was a crapshoot anyway, because she'd done everything in her power to push parts of herself down to fit in.
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She was asking just to be a brat.
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